Solo Exhibition 2013

In a recession the first thing to go are "luxuries" like the arts. People are trying to cover their bills and don't have extra cash to buy a painting or three. For the artist this means slim pickings financially but also a chance to try things that you wouldn't usually. While working on a small scale or developing a bread and butter line of cheaper work to keep things ticking over while the economy tries to kick start itself again you could also experiment with different techniques or subject matter that you never had a chance to while you were on the treadmill of painting what sold.

Alongside trying to extend my bread and butter range over the last few years I've been studying with The Learning Connexion completing my Arts and Creativity Diploma (Honours) with them in 2013. Studying gave me the freedom to try new things and break away from my usual pet portraits. I could try collage, charcoal nude studies, mixed media- in other words without the constraint of painting what I thought I could sell I could just have fun. It's important creative people recapture that pure joy we had as children when we finger painted without a care in the world before we were told it didn't look like anything and wasn't good enough.

It's difficult to allow yourself the freedom of having fun as an adult. There's always something that needs to be done urgently on the housework front or there's the feeling that you should be out there in the big wide world doing something important like saving pandas. That art is a somewhat selfish pursuit. And as for putting your work out there... Who the hell do you think you are? You're no Monet (or as a picture framer once said to me "You're no Ralph Hotere". To move past this, to try something new and put it up for everyone to see was why last year I had my first solo exhibition at Electra Gallery in Waipukurau. I knew I was unlikely to sell anything, especially as this area is still reeling from the 2013 drought and a downturn in the economy. Instead it would be my chance to showcase the different art styles I've been learning over the past few years as well as demonstrating how my artwork has moved on and developed.

"Fem" a mixed media work on a re purposed gold leafed frame

I had six months to prepare new work but soon discovered that this was still not long enough, even for a "mini" exhibition. I was still working on my largest painting to date the day before it opened ending up pulling my first all nighter painting until an hour before I was due to deliver the paintings.

Paintings and my "Kitty Bling" sculpture displayed in the gallery's front window

Kevin Annand who manages Electra was waiting patiently as I turned up over half an hour late and was encouraging about the different work that I was hanging although he warned me that gallery sales were down to what they had been in previous years. When I returned the next day I discovered what a great job he'd done in displaying my "Mini Exhibition" at the front of the gallery.

Some examples of my work including "The Committee" the painting that resulted in my first all nighter

The exhibition last two weeks and I had some good feedback from people who went along to view it. Everyone differed in their opinion as to which piece was their favourite. The CHB Mail ran an article Kevin wrote about me (accompanied by two photos) which was reproduced in the Electra Newsletter the following month. Unfortunately all this publicity didn't translate into sales.

"Arabian Knight" in oils

Well not immediately anyway. Kevin kept back two small bunny paintings and one was sold early in January 2014. Would I have another solo exhibition? Definitely. Perhaps in a couple of years and goodness knows what I'll be creating by then.

Feel The fear And Do It Anyway

I have many creative ideas to the point that I'll need, as a friend once told me, to live forever to finish even a portion of them. Having a block is never a problem with me but anxiety is. Not beginning a project because I think it's beyond my capabilities has meant I will often put off work till tomorrow deluding myself that I will magically become Leonardo De Vinci while I sleep. Another day means another bout of procrastination and then a week turns into a month with very little of worth done in the art line.

Deadlines always helped me to paint something. Entering an exhibition means I have to complete work although I might not begin painting until the last minute, sometimes working until 3am and sending the painting in barely dry. Not only does this mean that I can convince myself that I can't do any better because of the time issues it's also stopped me endlessly reworking a picture which in a way is a good thing.

I have learned to embrace these foibles of mine. I know the panic I feel in the middle of painting will pass, that I can only do the best I can do at the time. Instead of looking at the entire work and thinking "I can't do this, it's too much" I'll tell myself I have half an hour spare and I should try to finish the eyes or the hair or slop in some background. Working in small bites of time really helps although discovering what times of day I work best has been a major development for me recently. For example I enjoy working late morning and mid afternoon plus some of my best work has been done late at night. If I need a nap I'll take one so that I can come back fresh. Tiredness just feeds anxiety.

In late May I attended "The Art Of Innovation" workshop run by Alice and Jonathan Milne of The Learning Connexion which pointed out many of my hang ups and worries plus encouraging me to find solutions to overcoming them. Listening to the other participants I realized I was not on my own in feeling inadequate whether it was having a messy house in one case to having health issues in another. My solution was to constantly have a goal or deadline before me and to feel the fear and do it anyway.

My first fearful deadline was to enter two 4" x 4" paintings into Electra Gallery's "Small Works" exhibition in early June. I didn't step too far out of my box and stuck with my tried and true animal portraiture. The first work is of a mini lop bunny called "Loppy". I gessoed the canvas black and then spent some time building up fur in glazed layers of acrylic.

"Loppy" an acrylic painting on 4" x 4" boxed canvas

Everything is better in pairs so I teamed Loppy up with another popular breed, a Dutch bunny called "Lapin". I have kept rabbits since 1986 so it was with some amusement in my family that when I searched for my biological mother we discovered her maiden name was Lappin. I was truly a bunny girl born and bred.

"Lapin" another acrylic painting on 4" x 4" boxed canvas

The next exhibition of note in the area was the annual "Art Extravaganza" at the Pukeora Estate in Waipukurau. This is probably the biggest exhibition in Hawkes Bay these days with entries coming in from around New Zealand. I have entered six times, been accepted five and sold twice so it's something I always try to paint towards. For two years I have intended to complete a huge painting developing a drawing I did several years ago. I even bought a 20" by 40" canvas (the largest I would have ever attempted) which leaned against the easel reproachfully for months before I gave up and opted for safety completing a small cat painting instead.

"Kitteh" an acrylic painting on 8" x 8" boxed canvas

Of course I knew they'd think I'd mistyped the title so the painting was displayed as "Kitten" but I had some positive feedback from those who saw it although no sales (well we've been through a severe drought here this year so all the farmers are broke and not buying art).

My next goal is to finally complete that huge canvas. I've gessoed it and chalked in the outlines and it's staring at me from an armchair in the sitting room. I've got my first solo exhibition in November this year and I have no choice but to get it done. Plus I have a website to complete and two markets to prepare for. So now I am feeling the fear big time but picking up a brush nevertheless.